greg rolnick
writer • promoter • hockey player


07.15.04 • The TiVolution Will Be Televised (but only to be watched later)

Let me start by saying that I “loooove” my TiVo. No more VHS tapes, no more clocks blinking “12:00” at me, no more confusion over what I want to tape and when. TiVo uses all kinds of newfangled technology that not only makes recording a breeze, but will even start automatically picking shows for me to watch. Once I got past the initial set-up phase, and TiVo finally accepted that I don’t speak Spanish and stopped recording daytime shows on Telemundo, we settled into a most enjoyable groove (not to be confused with the new groove on my couch that bears a striking resemblance to my butt).

Between TiVo and my DVD player, my VCR is feeling a bit shafted, but I think it will get over it. After all, even the VCR has to agree that TiVo’s greatest achievement is not just being able to pause and rewind live television (“Um, did I just see Janet’s boob?”), but the ability to never watch another commercial at normal speed again. Yes, I realize that the advent of the VCR allowed us to do this as well, but never before with such ease (and nifty little “bloop” noises). Plus, digital doesn’t lose quality like video, so you can record to your heart’s content and not lose any quality. This also increases the quantity of your use, and if there’s anything we Americans love, it’s super-sizing things.

Now, I don’t have anything against commercials in general. As a matter of fact, some of my favorite TV moments have been clever ad campaigns. I just don’t like them getting in the way of my shows. Sometimes I even pause a show that I’m watching, meander off to the kitchen for a snack, or maybe to my computer to check some e-mail, and then come back just so I can fast forward through the commercials and streamline the viewing process.

When the time comes that every American household is utilizing TiVo, or some other form of Digital Video Recording, the television medium itself may need to be drastically altered. Forced into recognizing the audience’s complete apathy, and disdain really, to their ads, networks will work in tandem with the show’s sponsors to change the way each program is actually structured. Could we be looking at the removal of ads during shows, and with them, the writer’s need to create a cliffhanger every 10 to 15 minutes? The Europeans have been doing it to our shows for years, why not us?

Whether or not it is a reaction to the proliferation of TiVo, and the TiVo user’s love of the fast-forward button, advertisers are definitely taking product placement and sponsorships to new highs (or lows).

Almost as ubiquitous as his snarky commentary, was Simon Cowell’s giant cup of Coca-Cola on American Idol. Just about every reality television show incorporates such shameless product placement. MTV’s Real World/Road Rules Challenge is a constant battle for daily prizes, and immunity can be won by securing a coveted “Saturn Ion Lifesaver.” Now that’s what I call subliminal advertising: hundreds of thousands of young, impressionable TV viewers slowly meandering towards a Saturn dealership in search of a car that can save their lives, or at the very least keeps them from ingesting as many arachnids as possible in under two hours.

Of course, game shows pioneered the use of prizes as product placement, so this is nothing new. Geritol was bringing us Twenty-One when Puck was still a Shakespearean creation, and not an ex-skate-rat desperately trying to suck the marrow out of his 15 minutes of infamy.

It’s really that I feel the world heading toward the faux-reality of The Truman Show. It won’t be long before the well-lubricated kids on The Real World turn directly to the camera and start extolling the virtues of grape-flavored Pedia-Lite, the world’s most miraculous hangover cure. And like Jim Carrey’s unwitting reality TV star Truman, we may also furrow our brow at the screen and wonder aloud, “Why are you talking like that?”

It helps to put things in context by stepping back and looking at how other entertainment mediums have adapted to change.

With radio play lists shrinking like support for the GOP, and consumers beginning to explore the commercial-free world of satellite radio, record labels are cross-promoting at a rapid clip. Getting music online or on TV is a logical step in reaching out to a larger audience.

The WB has embraced the concept of using modern music to enhance its shows. At the end of each program, you hear a sound bite, see an album cover, and listen to a reassuring voice intone that, “tonight’s show featured music by JET.” But the enlightening part, is reading the fine print below the album cover: “Promotional consideration for JET provided by Elektra Records.” So how does this differ from the bygone era of radio payola, when DJs and station program directors were slipped money, drugs, and sexual favors for increased airplay? Semantics, baby! Repeat after me: Payola is dead. Long live, Promotional Consideration!

Personally, I prefer simply using the music and telling me about it over the credits to seeing the boys from JET onstage at the Peach Pit After Dark, looking remarkably embarrassed and lip-synching (poorly) to their latest hit. One my favorite new shows, Smallville, made me cringe two seasons ago when they had the band that performs the show’s theme song play at the school dance. OK, not exceptionally horrible. But then young Clark Kent walks up to his bestest friend Pete, and this bit of dialogue comes spewing forth:

CLARK: Hey, Pete, who’s the band? They rock!
PETE: Remy Zero! YEAH!

I felt like a baby seal getting clubbed over the head.

As overwhelming as the advertising onslaught may feel, I can’t blame them for trying. After all, if the mountain won’t come to Mohammed, then Mohammed’s people should probably develop a focus group to study the problem, create an incredibly large SUV with DVD players in the headrests that show me the latest episodes of Who Wants To Be A Bazillionaire, and go 4x4’ing over the damn mountain. All powered, of course, by a “Hemi.”(See, even TiVo users aren’t completely immune to the barrage of inane ads).

But this is the price I pay for embracing my TiVo and its ability to watch three or four minutes of commercials in 15 seconds. And truth be told, I can live with that.

*Promotional consideration provided by TiVo, MTV, Pedia-Lite, the WB, and Elektra Records.

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