| 02.16.04
Adventures at Hockey School: Session Six – Iced
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Monday evening began as it usually does, with a Team Stanley
floor hockey game at 7pm. The first period was unfortunately
made more interesting by our goalie’s late arrival. With
our netminder nowhere to be found, and a referee itching to
get things underway, AJ “You know, I’m not supposed
to gear up for another three hours” Brandt was forced
to stand in for the first ten minutes or so. Looking odd in
a goalie mask, and little other protection, AJ did a valiant
job of stopping shots.
Of course, the prize for most entertaining equipment choice
went to one of our female defensemen, who forgot to bring her
sneakers. Instead, she ran the court in lace-up dress boots
with chunky black heels. After a few stylish, yet effective
shifts, one of our other female players offered up the closest
thing she had to sneakers, a pair of Timberland work boots.
In a nod to my brother Mike, I couldn’t resist singing
a favorite line from The Beastie Boys' song “Get It Together:”
“Yo, Tip, what’s up with the boots on your feet?/I
gots the Timbers on my toes/And this is how it goes/One, two,
oh my god.”
At one point in the game we trailed by four, but managed to
rally for an 8-8 tie with a clutch goal in the final minute.
For those of you keeping stats, I had a goal and two assists.
AJ and I hung out with the team at our post-game sponsor bar
for an hour, before heading out to Bensenville. I enjoyed being
there with everyone, but munching on a Vanilla Crisp Power Bar
didn’t quite satisfy my hunger like the burgers and buffalo
chicken sandwiches surrounding me would have.
There’s a certain childlike wonder that I associate with
the entire ice hockey school experience. I get so pumped up
to hang out with the guys, skate, and try to make miracles happen.
In a move designed to build team unity, and reminiscent of a
kid’s tree house, I placed a piece of hockey tape across
the locker room door that AJ had scrawled “Phantoms ONLY”
on. As I was smoothing it out, AJ turned the corner with a curious
look on his face.
“I just wanted to make sure I spelled it right.”
“Yup,” I replied, “O-N-L-Y.”
Once dressed, we noticed that one of our guys, “Tido,”
was absent. Being the selfless guy I am, I volunteered to double
shift and even things out. My generosity was duly noted.
Surprising no one, practice began with ten minutes of stopping
exercises. Since I continued to stop with the awkwardness of
a geeky 8th grader at a school dance, Coach Bruce glided over
for a few pointers. Pretty soon I was making fairly solid, albeit
slow, one-footed stops on my left skate. I tried speeding things
up a bit, and switching to my right skate, with varying degrees
of success. Varying degrees being the difference between “whoops”
and “holy shit that hurt.”
From there it was on to skating drills, where I took the first
spot in line. The first skater can set the tone for everyone
else, depending on how well they do. Personally, I like to think
that my team takes inspiration from both my successes and failures.
For every confidence-inspiring, silky-smooth forward crossover,
there’s a botched, backwards C-cut.
Our new adventure this week was a breakout drill. Bruce had
one of our two defensive pairings set up in front of the net,
while the other two went out to the red line. Our three forward
lines rotated in and we practiced moving the puck up and out
of the zone, then back in. Each line had a chance to try and
score, before shifting out and letting the next group go. With
one forward missing, we had a few problems with our math skills,
and often caught more than three forwards lining up at a time.
The other obstacle was the occasional unconscious desire to
pass to any guy wearing a maroon jersey, which only helped demoralize
our wingers and embolden our defensemen.
Finally, the time came to scrimmage. We were sharing the rink
with the Icemen this week, so it was a chance to see how well
they could play. A win would move us to 2-0 for what I consider
to be the “pre-season.”
After some back and forth skirmishes, and an admonishment from
AJ to score a goal, I helped us get on the board first with
a nice pass through the crease to my center, who then beat the
goalie low with a wicked wrister. Before we had time to properly
celebrate, the Icemen charged back up ice and evened things
out.
Each time I’m out on the ice these days I seem to get
one good chance for a breakaway. This time around, my right
defensemen took control of the puck in the corner, and passed
it up the boards to me. I took the pass, turned, and got ready
to beat the one defender standing between myself and an ESPN
play of the week. Skating towards him, I pushed the puck up
and to the right, preparing to play the bounce off of the boards
and get behind the defender. I executed perfectly except for
one thing: Bruce was standing along the boards, and decided
to kick my pass back into my own zone, instead of letting it
go up ice. Consequently, I went charging across the blue line,
while the play made its way back into our end.
When a hockey player voices his displeasure to a referee, he
is often described as “chirping.” Turning back towards
a grinning Bruce, I sounded like an agitated aviary.
With the game tied at 2, the Icemen took the lead on a groan-inducing
misplay by AJ. The puck was shot out of the Icemen’s zone,
and came sliding down the length of the ice alone. AJ put his
stick down to block the puck, but somehow didn’t quite
get the angle right, and it managed to bounce off and into the
back of the net. While the Icemen marveled at their stroke of
luck, the Phantoms recorded more spit takes than a Farrelly
Brothers movie. Poor AJ could only shrug his shoulders in sheepish
disbelief.
Of course, I can’t let AJ hang out in the breeze here.
Not long after his goalie gaffe, I took control of the puck
deep in our end, and decided to make a dangerous pass across
the middle, instead of sending it up the boards. When the puck
ended up on an opposing stick blade, AJ screamed, “Roller,
what are you doing?!?” Luckily, one of our guys managed
to clear it out before I could push my +/- further downward.
Even though I ended up double (and possibly triple) shifting
in the final minutes, the game ended with a 4-2 loss. With next
week off, we’ve got a while to map out our game plan and
get back a winning record.
On the way home, AJ and I strategized ways to recover the thrill
of victory, and let the seat warmers diminish the agony of defeat. |