*The Editor would like to dedicate this
email to Ms. Moore, Mr. Hagy, and all the other loyal readers
who wonder how and why Mr. Rolnick continues to play in the
face of repeated disappointment.
THURSDAY, MARCH 15, 2001 • KUDZU HOCKEY LEAGUE
ATLANTA, GA – Still reeling a bit from the brutal pounding
Tuesday night, star Tellermate center, Greg "En Fuego"
Rolnick, was recruited by two teams to play as an alternate
in their Thursday night games. With a large chip on his shoulder,
and an overwhelming need to prove his hockey worth, Rolnick
charged into the two matches and raised the bar to heights Super
Mario would find difficult to ascend.
BLADES 8 • MINDSPRING 4
Early in the first period, Rolnick began controlling the offensive
zone, leading the Blades in on several attacks on the hapless
Mindspring goalie. Somewhere around the four minute mark, Rolnick
took a beautiful pass from his winger and buried it past the
goalie for the first score of the game.
As the game unfurled, the Blades continued to aggressively pass
around the Mindspring defense and set up goal after goal. Rolnick
notched two assists, and infuriated the Mindspring center by
winning roughly 80% of the face offs.
With the clock reading two and half minutes to go in the match,
and the Blades winning 6-4, Rolnick shook off an invitation
to rest on the bench and let his linemate enter the game. A
more brilliant decision was never made in the history of the
Kudzu League. Controlling the ball behind the Mindspring goal
with the ease of the Great One, Rolnick faked a pass to the
slot and proceeded to bury a gorgeous wrap-around past the confused
keeper. Then, on the following face off, Rolnick broke free
and went one on one with the demoralized net minder. Faking
a shot to his left, Rolnick forced the goalie to commit, then
dragging the ball right, he backhanded a shot into the net and
watched as the spectators threw their hats into the rink to
celebrate his first carer hat trick!
When the final buzzer sounded, the Blades had won 8-4 and Rolnick
had completed a career game, recording 5 points (3 goals, 2
assists).
Then it was time for game 2.
OILERS 7 • MIGHTY DUCKS 2
Riding high from the previous match, but feeling a bit drained,
Rolnick prepared himself to face the always-physical play of
the Mighty Ducks.
The second match became an extension of the first, as Greg "About
Damn Time!" Rolnick beat the goalie on a breakaway to register
the first score of the game. And from then on, although the
Ducks repeatedly tried to put him through the boards, Rolnick
controlled the game.
Setting up plays, winning face offs, and assisting on goals,
Rolnick was a one man wrecking crew. When the final buzzer sounded,
Rolnick had done the impossible: he duplicated his stats from
the first game!!! That's right, loyal readers, Rolnick recorded
ANOTHER hat trick as well as two more assists (including an
amazing one-timer from the slot which he seemingly nailed while
the ball was a good four or five inches off of the ground).
TEN POINTS in TWO GAMES, ladies and gentleman! Undoubtedly,
one for the record books.
So with the rejuvenated Rolnick riding high, get ready for the
Tellermate match this Tuesday!
So STAY TUNED!!! |