TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 2001 • KUDZU HOCKEY
LEAGUE
TELLERMATE vs. KUDZU
ATLANTA, GA – Right then. There was a game last night.
It was ugly. So ugly that I refuse to report on the carnage
on skates that masqueraded as a hockey game.
Now I could blame it on the lack of Tellermate players showing
up for the game and subsequent reliance on scab replacements.
I could blame it on the house team, which consists of more ringers
than a phone-sex switchboard. I could blame it on the bad vibes
that echoed throughout Atlanta last night in the wake of the
Donald Audette trade to Buffalo for some unknown Czech and a
FOURTH ROUND draft pick (be still my beating heart). I could
blame any or all of these things. But I won't.
No, instead I'd like to take a moment to pay homage to the fans.
Those brave and noble souls who come out to the Kudzu league
games and cheer from the elaborate stands erected for their
enjoyment and comfort. Fans like David F. Reese.
David, or "Big Dave" as he is otherwise affectionately
known, was a no-show last night, but was an awe-inspiring presence
at the previous Tellermate game vs. the Buffaloes.
Painted head-to-toe in Tellermate blue and white, Dave whipped
the crowd into a fan frenzy with his theatrics, acrobatics,
and ever-so-suave stylistic rendition of the Star Spangled Banner
before the match. His creative cheers and inspired referee heckling
technique were beyond compare and duly noted from both benches.
According to inside sources, the Thrashers were reportedly scouting
Mr. Reese as a replacement for their mascot "Thrash,"
but failed to make their move by the 3pm NHL Trade Deadline
yesterday afternoon (rumor has it that Reese's agent was asking
for a four-year deal at $8 million, with an option for another
season at $3.6, but the Thrashers balked at the extension).
And with that, dear readers, I urge you not to fret for Team
Tellermate. Next Tuesday night brings a shot at redemption when
they face the Aeros.
So STAY TUNED!!! |