THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 2001 • KUDZU HOCKEY
LEAGUE
Game 1: TELLERMATE vs. KUDZU
Game 2: TELLERMATE vs. BUFFALOES
Game 1: TELLERMATE 2 • KUDZU 7
ATLANTA, GA -- In the first game of a rescheduled double-header,
Tellermate got shellacked by the Kudzu house team. To their
credit, Kudzu's passing was NHL quality, but there were rumblings
from the Tellermate bench about possible voodoo hexes or deals
with the Devil.
Down by one, early in the match, pseudo-star Tellermate center,
Greg "I'll Take What I Can Get" Rolnick, broke free
for a one-on-one against the Kudzu keeper. Feigning left, dragging
right, losing his balance and falling down, Rolnick watched
his shot just trickle past the goalie for the tying score (to
the sounds of mock cheering from the Kudzu bench).
Unfortunately, it wasn't until late in the second half that
Tellermate notched another goal. Instead, they were forced to
watch Kudzu skate circles around them and pepper the goalie
like an over-zealous waiter in Buckhead. Resorting to his time-tested
battle cry of "OLD TIME HOCKEY, BOYS! LIKE EDDIE SHORE!",
Rolnick tried to rally his teammates and injure the opposition,
but it was all for naught.
With the bitter taste of defeat, and concrete perhaps?, in their
mouths, Tellermate steadied themselves for the next match.
Game 2: TELLERMATE 6 • BUFFALOES 9
Having beaten the Buffaloes in their previous meeting, Tellermate
was shooting for a repeat performance. And it started off quite
promising. Promising, until the Buffaloes went up by two, that
is.
The Buffaloes were taken a bit off-guard by Tellermate's increasingly
physical play, but quickly raised their intensity level to Broad
Street Bullies levels. This, of course, simply brought a smile
to the mug of Greg "Fore-check, Hip-Check, Cash-the-Damn-Check"
Rolnick", whose face off technique was expanding to include:
1) win the puck, 2) move body forward, & 3) "accidentally"
place stick between opponents skates as he tries to move forward
(something that should not be attempted against anyone weighing
roughly twice your body weight).
With Tellermate down by two, Rolnick and his winger flew down
into the Buffaloes zone on a 2 on 1. Drawing the goalie out
of the crease, the winger fired a pass to Rolnick, who went
five-hole for the score. Unfortunately, every time Tellermate
threatened, the Buffaloes would respond, never letting the score
get tighter than a two goal differential.
When the final buzzer sounded, Rolnick skated to the bench with
a goal and an assist to his credit. However, his ever-improving
stats meant little after back to back defeats. When Rolnick
was asked how he was feeling after such a disappointing evening,
our intrepid reporter was forced to make a hasty exit; being
chased by an "incensed individual with a potentially deadly
hockey stick in each hand."
Next week Tellermate re-groups and prepares for a run at making
the playoffs...so STAY TUNED!!! |