greg rolnick
writer • promoter • hockey player
Adam Rolnick drops his gloves for the first timeOH BABY, GAME ON!
NEW YORK, NY - Friday, October 3, 2003
Lennox Hill Hospital
The high-pitched sounds of joy were audible all the way in Poughkeepsie last night, as Adam Nathaniel Rolnick (aka "Junior"), made his grand entrance at 6:52 p.m. EST.
Weighing in at a buoyant 8 lbs, 9 oz, and measuring 21 inches, Rolnick came
into this world the same way Ducks fans left it last Spring, kicking and screaming. Assisting on the play were Carol "Adam, eat your peas. Dammit, I wasn't in labor for 20+ hours to watch you not clean your plate!" Rolnick, Michael "If genetics has taught me anything, it's to get this boy a crash helmet" Rolnick, and Dr. Richard "King of the Epidural" Scuderi.
While members of the music industry have been busy scouting young A'n'R, the hockey community has already pounced upon this emerging new talent.
Although the Vancouver Canucks were reportedly offering a lucrative package of formula and diapers, the New York Rangers once again threw caution to the wind and offered Rolnick an 11 figure deal, which reportedly included a luxury box at the next "Wiggles" concert at Madison Square Garden. Meanwhile, Nike, Bauer, and CCM have all been fighting since Rolnick was in utero for rights to his first pair of skates, stick, and protective gear.
As Rolnick gears up for the long season ahead, his uncle and agent, Greg "no, no, no, that's 15% of the GROSS" Rolnick, has been fielding the numerous offers and arranging Junior's Fall publicity tour (GA, WI, IL, NV).
BABY WATCH 2003: What will Junior do next? Sleep? Eat? Poop?
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