greg rolnick
writer • promoter • hockey player


WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2001
SPORTS MONSTER FLOOR HOCKEY
GYM RATS vs. THE LOOPERS

Gym Rats 2 • The Loopers 7

CHICAGO – The last time these two teams met the Gym Rats managed to come back from a four-goal deficit to tie the game. This time, not so much.

The game started off on a positive note, as Greg "Look at me! I'm a Spitfire!" Rolnick swooped down upon the net, grabbed an errant rebound and launched it over the confused net minder's shoulder for the first goal of the game. In a sick twist of fate, however, it would be the last Gym Rats goal until deep into the second half.

The rest of the first half was marred by various physical confrontations and a few Loopers goals.

Down by two, the Gym Rats looked to stage another rally in the second. The Loopers, sensing a comeback, began to implement a version of basketball's "Hack a Shaq" on Rolnick. After the third full-fledged check, the referee finally acknowledged Rolnick's cries as ones of pain and not pleasure, and put the Gym Rats on the power play. Unfortunately, it was to no avail.

The only other redeeming moment of the second half came on the second Gym Rats goal. From deeeeeeeeeep in their own zone, the Gym Rats top defender controlled the ball and let loose with a monstrous slap shot. Rolnick, who was camped in the Loopers' zone, watched the ball sail through the air like a Tim Wakefield knuckleball. Quickly realizing that the ball was headed towards his noggin' and not his stick, Rolnick ducked for cover and watched in amazement as it went in for a goal.

At the final buzzer, it was Gym Rats 2, Loopers 7. A disappointment, but one that may yield an unexpected bonus. As it turns out, a loss last night puts the Gym Rats in a better slot for the playoffs, which begin next week.

On a related note...Rolnick and a few other Gym Rats stuck around to sub in the following match between Hanson's Hoodlums and The Tinkers. Even though the blade of his trusty Koho 6800 was snapped in two by a Hoodlum doing his best "Lord of the Dance" impression, Rolnick still managed to supply The Tinkers with 2 goals and an assist in what turned out to be an 8-8 tie.

Will the Gym Rats advance past the first round of the playoffs?

Will Rolnick be chosen as team MVP?

Will Koho take pity and send more sticks?

For the answers to those questions and more...STAY TUNED!

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