WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2001
SPORTS MONSTER FLOOR HOCKEY
GYM RATS vs. THE LOOPERS
Gym Rats 6 • The Loopers 6
CHICAGO, IL – Although he didn't put any points on the
board last night, Gym Rats center, Greg "I realize this
is a hockey update, but can someone PLEASE beat the Yankees!"
Rolnick, has definitely made a name for himself in his new
league.
During the opening shoot around Rolnick noticed the opposition
scouting out his wrist shot and ball-handling skills almost
as much as they investigated the eggplant colored welt on
his girlfriend’s left thigh (a souvenir from last week's
match). And once the game got underway, Rolnick found himself
to be the only Gym Rat who qualified for man-to-man coverage,
as opposed to the zone defense being employed by the Loopers.
The first half was somewhat unpleasant for the Gym Rats, quickly
falling behind 2-1 within the first five minutes of the game.
Rolnick was having difficulty winning the faceoff, as the
referee had taken to throwing the ball into play, instead
of dropping it (in a self-described, "I don't wanna lose
a finger" defensive technique). Furthermore, whenever
he touched the ball in the Loopers end, Rolnick found himself
more scattered, chunked, smothered, and covered than a Waffle
House entree. Due to the Loopers enveloping defensive scheme,
Rolnick was limited to one-timing shots at odd angles, invariably
drilling the post or the inside of the goalie's mitt.
At the end of the first half of play, it was the Loopers 6,
the Gym Rats 2.
But the second half was a different story, as the Gym Rats
gathered themselves together and began to think and play strategically.
Yes, the rally helmets were on, Ladies and Gentleman, and
the Gym Rats warned the Loopers they were about to get scored
on more than Chris Hagy's sister at the Kappa House (well,
you know, if Chris had a sister).
After convincingly pleading with the ref to change his ball
throwing technique, Rolnick won 95% of the 2nd half faceoffs,
and consistently shifted the momentum the Gym Rats way. He
also used their man-to-man coverage against them, drawing
defenders into the corners and opening up holes for his wingers
to fill [get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking hockey
here –the ed.].
Combined with an impressive effort from their embattled keeper,
the Gym Rats slowly rallied the score from 6-2, to 6-5 with
two minutes left to play.
As the game clock wound down, the Gym Rats managed to stuff
home an errant rebound and tie the game at 6 apiece. Although
Rolnick had two solid shots in the final seconds of the game,
neither team scored the game winner.
Even though it was a tie and not a win, it felt like a moral
victory for the Gym Rats, who head into next week's match
against the devilish squad of Damian with a chip on their
shoulder, a gleam in their eye, and a copy of "The Omen"
in their pockets...
So STAY TUNED!!!