greg rolnick
writer • promoter • hockey player


WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2002
SPORTS MONSTER FLOOR HOCKEY
GYM RATS vs. WOLVERINES

Gym Rats 12 • Wolverines 2

CHICAGO, IL -- Riding high from last week's trouncing of Team S&L, the Gym Rats welcomed the Wolverines to the league by beating the bejeezus out of them, 12-2.

As was the case last week, the Gym Rats took control of the game early and kept the action in the opposition's end. Taking advantage of wider-than-usual passing lanes, they worked the ball out of the corners with skill and panache.

With the Gym Rats up 1-0, Greg "Please, no autographs during the game, kids" Rolnick took control of the ball behind the Wolverines' net, and with the ease of the Great One, threw a perfect pass in front for his winger who one-timed it into the back of the net.

The rest of the first half was a blur, as the Gym Rats slowly nudged their goal tally higher and higher (including two goals courtesy of Mr. Rolnick). At the first whistle, it was Gym Rats 7, Wolverines 0.

The Wolverines came out hacking in the second, and tried to shut down Rolnick to no avail. He notched another hat trick on a beautiful back-hander from the slot, which had the perplexed keeper's head spinning around like Linda Blair in the Exorcist.

Of course, Rolnick's third goal of the game wasn't as satisfying as his "(Modified) Gordie Howe Hat Trick," when he was assessed two minutes in the box for charging-- thus acquiring at least one goal, assist, and penalty during the game.

In a final act of domination, Rolnick came out of the box, received a laser pass from his defenseman, weaved past two defenders, and beat the Wolverine's goalie one-on-one for his fourth goal of the game.

Next week brings a rematch with one of last season's tougher squads, The Loopers (known for their fondness of introducing themselves to Mr. Rolnick in the corners).

so STAY TUNED!

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