THURSDAY, JANUARY 4, 2007
HNA TIER 3 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
LOS PHANTASMOS vs. SEALS
Los Phantasmos 9 – Seals 4
BENSENVILLE, IL – In their first meeting of the season
with the Seals, Los Phantasmos dug themselves an ice hole
they couldn’t swim out of, and took a big loss. This
time around, however, the good guys exploded (in a good way)
in the second period to bust an even match wide open.
The first period was somewhat even, as Los Phantasmos got
on the board first with a sweet shorthanded goal scored by
Keith “Let’s-Go-Buff-A-Lo” Hales, converting
on a feed from defenseman and on-ice-stand-up comedian, Jay
“Is this thing on?” Smith.
Scoring machine, Ross “The Waterboy” Gerbasi pushed
Los Phantasmos ahead by one more when he broke in alone, shook
down the Seals goalie, and scored his team-leading 12th goal
of the season.
The Seals made some noise before the end of the period, beating
netminder AJ “Short Side” Brandt to pull within
one.
Not wanting the Seals to get comfortable, Los Phantasmos erupted
in the second period with four goals from Craig “Sometimes
it ain’t easy being a Flyers fan” Sonnenschein,
Dan “Mulligan” Phillips, Greg “Spell Check”
Rolnick, and Randy “Please don’t tell my new girlfriend
you idiots call me Peaches” Cochran, who tallied his
goal while on the newly resurgent Phantasmos power play unit.
The Seals tried to slide back into the game with another goal,
but Los Phantasmos were rolling at this point like the Chevy
car in turn four at Talladega.
The third period saw continued offensive pressure from Los
Phantasmos, who persistently exploited the Seals’ desire
to try and flood the offensive zone with skaters. This faulty
strategy allowed Los Phantasmos to create numerous odd-man
rushes and other scoring opportunities. In addition, the Seals
reliance on their one star player handicapped them as well
(although the one guy did manage to score 75% of their goals,
and assist on the other).
After watching said Seal score, Rolnick commented to the opposing
Seal winger at the ensuing faceoff circle that, “22
and 14 [Gerbasi] will be playing some one on one for cash
after the game.”
In the third, Sonnenschein lit the lamp again, this time on
the power play, as did Gerbasi.
Even though the Seals star player tallied two goals in the
third period, they were still looking at a four goal deficit
in the final minutes of the match. In a bizarre move, they
opted to pull their goalie for an extra attacker, which was
quickly nullified when one of their players was sent to the
box for cross-checking Sean “Have you been hurt in an
accident? Cause I sure as hell feel like I have” Tang
from behind and sending him sprawling to the ice.
Tang sought revenge via the score sheet, and exploited the
empty net in the final minute by notching his second goal
of the season (this one on the power play).
The big win was unfortunately marred by an altercation in
the final seconds that occurred at the top of Brandt’s
crease. While this reporter would love to go into detail,
the incident itself was so shocking, dismaying, and ridiculous,
that it just doesn’t warrant a full explanation. Besides,
how better to encourage fans to see Los Phantasmos play in
person than by adding a bit of mystery to Ye Olde Recap?
Let’s just say that tempers were lost, dubious actions
were enacted, major penalties were assessed, and much shame
was felt (along with hefty team fines).
However, the big win was not to be overshadowed, and like
the previous week against the Caerbannogs, (after some verbal
dressing down in the locker room) there was much rejoicing.
GAME NOTES: Los Phantasmos went 3 for 5 on the PP and 2 for
2 on the PK, including Hales’ shorthanded goal; While
Los Phantasmos won the game handily, the shot count was actually
in the Seals favor, 27-26; Phantasmos phans: It’s not
too late to give the ones you love a phenomenal gift of the
Jeremy Campbell talking bobblehead doll! Hear JC say fun things
like, “I swear she said she was 18,” or “Dude,
my band’s playing tomorrow night at 2AM…want me
to put you on the guest list?” or “Anyone have
any beer? I’m starting to feel sober and it’s
scaring me.” Order yours today!