SUNDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2006
HNA TIER 3 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
LOS PHANTASMOS vs. CAERBANNOGS
Los Phantasmos 5 – Caerbannogs 4
BENSENVILLE, IL – Before we delve into the game recap,
we here in the hockey press would just like to express our
gratitude for another year of great HNA hockey, as well as
the end to the horrific writer’s strike that has so
harshly sidelined this reporter from his beat. That being
said, on with the show…
The previous (and tragically undocumented) meeting between
Los Phantasmos and the evil death bunnies known as the Caerbannogs
ended in a 7-7 tie. However, it was really a Phantasmos loss,
as our brave heroes managed to give themselves quite the mental
flesh wound and give up a four goal lead to force the tie.
This time around, Los Phantasmos were determined not to give
away the win, and insead set off on an epic quest for victory.
Well, “epic” may be the wrong word, but it was
quite a game and the good guys won, so there.
The game was fraught with peril and penalties, as both sides
made numerous pilgrimages to the penalty box. Los Phantasmos
were guilty of a number of infractions, and combined with
a few questionable calls, managed to accumulate 12 penalties
in all. Not terribly inspiring, but it did lead to some inspirational
special teams play.
While on the first of their many short handed situations,
Greg “I Fart in Your General Direction” Rolnick
started the scoring for Los Phantasmos. Ross “It’s
Just a Flesh Wound” Gerbasi picked an unlucky Caerbannog’s
pocket and went streaking in one on one. Although his shot
was denied, the rebound bounced out to Rolnick and he slammed
it home.
Gerbasi struck again in the second period, this time on the
powerplay, converting a nice feed from Keith “The Black
Knight” Hales.
There was much rejoicing when the powerplay unit struck again
shortly thereafter. Newly anointed defenseman, Jeremy “I’m
Not Dead Yet” Campbell moved the puck to the exceptionally
brave, Dan “Bridge of Death” Phillips, who blasted
a slap shot on net. Before the Caerbannog netminder could
make the save, Josh “The-Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot”
Tallo knocked the puck out of midair, and redirected it in
to take a 3-2 lead.
Not to be denied, the Caerbannogs came galloping back and
scored the equalizer before the period was out, beating goalie,
AJ “An African or European Swallow?” Brandt while
he attempted to make sense of the rotating door that was installed
on the penalty box in between the first and second periods.
Tallo struck again in the third period, as he and Rolnick
converted another short handed goal. However, the Caerbannogs
refused to go quietly into that good night, and unleashed
their “mile wide mean streak” to tie the game
at four.
In the final minute, while killing off yet another penalty,
Gerbasi took it upon himself to not let the game go to overtime.
Taking control of the puck at the top of the circles, Gerbasi
wheeled around two Caerbannogs, screamed out “Niiiiiiiiiiiii!”
and unleashed a wicked shot that careened through traffic
and found the back of the net. Again, there was much rejoicing.
With just under 30 seconds left to play, Los Phantasmos bench
erupted in the sounds of cheers and coconuts being slammed
together, and watched as the Caerbannogs were finally defeated.
Needless to say, the rejoicing continued long into the (k)night.
GAME NOTES: Los Phantasmos were 2 for 4 on the PP and 6 for
9 on the PK, with 3 short handed goals; The Caerbannogs outshot
Los Phantasmos 26-22; Sean “How Do We Know She’s
A Witch?” Tang set a new low by racking up four minor
penalties, and the ensuing automatic 10 minute misconduct
for a shame-filled total of 20 PIM; Alternate captain, and
star defenseman, Jay “ Father of Sir Niklas the Soiled”
Smith will be holding a seminar for new parents at the Holiday
Inn Express in downtown Chicago this January entitled, “Sleep
is for P***ies.” Sign up now, as space is limited!