greg rolnick
father • writer • hockey player


SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2006
HNA TIER 3 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
PHANTASMOS vs. HORNETS

Phantasmos 2 – Hornets 2

ADDISON, IL – While the facility at Addison may be home to the world’s worst locker rooms, the NHL-sized rink saw one of the best games of the season the other night between Los Phantasmos and the Hornets. The game was fast paced, full of action, goalie heroics, and most importantly, never in “the bag,” even though Los Phantasmos held a lead going into the final minutes.

The game was played at an elevated speed from the opening faceoff, and while the first period shots ended up being tied at 10, Los Phantasmos struck first, finally breathing some life into their dormant power play.

Using his MacGuyver-like on-ice creativity, winger Josh “DP” Tallo eluded the Hornets penalty killers and moved the puck over to defenseman, Jay “Agent” Smith, who was pushing in from the point. Smith drew one of the Hornets defensemen towards him, and away from the crease, freeing up winger Greg “1.4 on the Richter Scale” Rolnick. Smith then lifted a pass to Rolnick, who faked to his right, then moved to the left post and flipped the puck over the goalie’s shoulder for both the first goal of the game and his first goal of the season.

With the referees doling out penalties to both squads with regularity and aplomb, Los Phantasmos killed off a number of Hornet man-advantages, including a five on three situation in the middle of the period. Special mention should be given not only to the stellar play of goalie, AJ “Spine of a Slinky” Brandt, who made brilliant save after save, but also to the defensive efforts of Smith, Scott “Born To” Battle, Dan “Hit ‘Em With A 5-Iron” Phillips, and Tedd “Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em” Vanadilok.

Although the game was physical, it was never really out of hand. Of course, tell that to call-up Sean “Bullseye” Tang, who was leveled along the boards behind the net. While he slowly rose back up, Vanadilok began skating in to exchange words, and possibly blows, with the offending Hornet. The now familiar, “TEDDY NOOOOOOO!” cry arose from Los Phantasmos bench, and lucky for all involved, disaster was averted.

The second period was devoid of scoring by either side, but not for lack of trying. Los Phantasmos peppered the Hornets goalie with 16 shots during the period, but he made save after impressive save. The most jaw-dropping display of netminding prowess came when he absolutely ROBBED Craig “Say It Ain’t” Sonnenschein on the breakaway. Sonnenschein made a stellar stick handling move, and seemingly had the goalie beat, as he was sprawled out across the crease. However, in a move that appeared to be straight out of a Matrix movie (and will no doubt haunt Sonnenschein’s dreams for weeks to come), the Hornets goalie raised his glove out of nowhere and snagged the puck before it could cross the goal mouth.

On the other end of the rink, Brandt stopped 9 Hornets attempts, providing his own trademark flashes of “the leather.”

Los Phantasmos built upon their lead in the third period, when Tallo and Rolnick were able to get the puck to scoring machine, Ross “Ring A Ding Ding” Gerbasi, who slipped it home.

Just when things were looking promising, however, the Hornets decided to crawl back into the game.

Late in the third period, one of the Hornets wingers got free in the slot, took a pass from his teammate, and walked in unscathed on Brandt, beating him for the goal.

Utilizing a misguided strategy of trying to increase the lead, as opposed to defending it, the “Guitar” line of Gerbasi, Tallo and Rolnick got caught deep in the Hornets zone trying to score and were not able to get back in time to aid the defense after an unfortunate turnover. Once again, one of the Hornets was able to get free in the slot and take on Brandt one on one. Before you could say, “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn,” the score was tied.

What ensued was a flurry of scoring chances on both sides of the ice, as the teams desperately tried to snag the win and avoid the overtime period. That being said, the netminders took matters into their own gloves, and refused to surrender another goal.

Tang, and his linemates, Jeremy “I Love Me Some Post” Campbell and Cully “Missed It By That Much” Johnston furiously tried to score, but couldn’t catch a break. Ditto for Sonnenschein, Keith “Ding Dong” Hales and Bo “Forecheck, Forecheck, Forecheck” Coonce.

As the clock wound down, Rolnick managed to take a blistering one-timer with less than a second on the clock, but watched in horror as it bounced off of the goalie’s chest.

The Hornets out shot Los Phantasmos for the first time all game in OT (4-3), but neither goalie was ready to surrender the extra point. Consequently, Los Phantasmos were forced to settle for a tie, even after holding the lead for the vast majority of the evening.

Begrudging respect was given to the Hornets for refusing to die and forcing the OT.

If Sunday’s match was any indication, the next matchup between these two squads proves to be a real barnburner, and members of Los Phantasmos are reportedly planning on doing some Black Friday shopping in order to secure the best possible deal on an industrial-sized can of Raid. The rematch is not to be missed, so get your tickets now!

GAME NOTES: Los Phantasmos put up the most shots in one game so far this year with 41 (including OT); Los Phantasmos went 1 for 7 on the PP and 4 for 4 on the PK; Phantasmos Phans: The team is looking for a new equipment manager to replace the recently (and unfortunately) deported, Enrique. If you’re interested in the position, send your video application to the team’s head of HR, Tedd Vanadilok at tedd@chicagophantoms.com. While experience and enthusiasm are a plus, Vanadilok does have a soft spot for bribes and creative, yet tasty, baked goods. I’m just sayin’.


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