TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2006
HNA TIER 3 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
PHANTASMOS vs. SEALS
Phantasmos 5 – Seals 8
BENSENVILLE, IL – On a day when the American populace
used the midterm elections to throw the Republicans out of
the House and Senate, the Seals threw Los Phantasmos right
off of their winning streak. After digging themselves an incredible
ice fishing hole, Los Phantasmos fought back valiantly, but
it proved to be too little, too late.
Having problems establishing a strong forecheck, and turning
over the puck repeatedly in the neutral zone, Los Phantasmos
were a mess offensively at the beginning of the game, and
found themselves battling the Seals over and over again in
their own zone. While the defense, led by Tedd “Absentee
Ballot” Vanadilok and Scott “Speaker of the Locker
Room” Battle, managed to contain some of the Seals,
the crafty fish-eaters managed to work the puck to their brethren
and scorch beleaguered netminder, AJ “Hanging Chad”
Brandt for four goals in the first period.
The other two Phantasmos defensemen, Jay “Attack Ad”
Smith and Dan “I Didn’t Approve of This Recap”
Phillips, also attempted to contain the Seals, often sacrificing
their bodies to block shots, and their egos to the sound of
pucks hitting twine in the wrong end of the ice.
After the Seals put up another three goals in the second period,
Los Phantasmos finally managed to crack the scoreboard and
prevent the Seals goalie from tallying a shutout on the evening.
Star center, Ross “Blue Line State” Gerbasi worked
the puck into the Seals’ zone, and then slid a pass
over to winger Greg “Campaign Finance Reform Begins
with Giving Me Money” Rolnick, who was immediately besieged
by the Seals defense. Fighting his way through a tangle of
sticks and bodies, Rolnick managed to backhand the biscuit
to Jeremy “Representative of the Hat Trick Lobby”
Campbell at the corner of the net, who flipped it past the
goalie.
The Seals answered right back at the six minute mark of the
second period and pulled ahead 8-1. However, this was to be
their last goal, as Los Phantasmos slowly began to pull their
collective heads out of their collective asses and canvass
the rink for votes and goals.
While the second line of Randy “Peaches for President”
Cochran, Keith “A Vote for Me Is a Vote for Me”
Hales, and Craig “Prevent Voter Fraud” Sonnenschein
hammered away at the Seals defense, they unfortunately came
up empty.
Campbell and Gerbasi, however, took matters upon themselves
and went on a goal scoring spree that nearly got Los Phantasmos
back in the game. Coupled with some outstanding saves from
Mr. Brandt, the game momentum took a well-deserved U-turn
towards Phantasmos respectability.
Campbell managed to go end to end for a goal in the second,
followed by a wild Gerbasi shot that slid through traffic
and went five-hole for the score.
In the third period, Campbell once again scored unassisted
to pick up the hat trick and Gerbasi also converted on a breakaway.
With three minutes to go in the game, and Los Phantasmos down
by three, the pressure was on. Tragically, Cochran snapped
under said pressure and got a little too friendly with one
of the Seals down low. The ensuing roughing call put Los Phantasmos
on the penalty kill, and hampered their attack plans.
When the final buzzer sounded, Los Phantasmos had fallen for
the first time this season. While they were undeniably outplayed
in the first half of the game, the second half showed a spark
of what Los Phantasmos are capable of. With just under a week
to regroup and count their ballots, the team is going to delve
deep into frozen margarita-assisted therapy and come out stronger
and tipsier for it when they face the always formidable Grim
Reapers.
GAME NOTES: Campbell recorded 4 points on the evening (3 goals,
1 assist) and Gerbasi had 3 points (2 goals, 1 assist); Los
Phantasmos PP went 0-2, but the PK was 2-2; Brandt made a
spectacular save in the third period by utilizing his well
padded cajones, prompting Smith to comment that he always
knew Brandt was “a ballsy kind of player;” Phantasmos
Phans: Make sure to pick up your copy of newest player, Cully
“Vote Yes on 29!” Johnston’s latest tome,
“Alcohol isn’t the enemy, but it ain’t no
friend of mine,” a gripping and inspirational tale of
one man’s battle to stay inebriated for a 17-week stretch
without once paying for a drink. What can we say, the man
has a gift.