SUNDAY, APRIL 15, 2007
HNA TIER 3 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE PLAYOFFS
LOS PHANTASMOS vs. MEATWADS
Los Phantasmos 0 – Meatwads 6
BENSENVILLE, IL – Coming off of a big win against the
Grim Reapers, Los Phantasmos thought they were ready to take
on the always formidable Meatwads. They were wrong. Really
wrong. Holy %$#@, what the &*@# just happened, kind of
wrong.
There’s not too much to report, as the Meatwads dominated
the game from the opening faceoff, and went on to rout Los
Phantasmos 6-0. The meaty bastards put up three goals in the
first period, one in the second, and two in the third.
Los Phantasmos looked terrible, as they were repeatedly out
of position, and forced to chase the opposition around the
rink. They also failed to clear numerous pucks from the zone,
couldn’t generate nearly enough offensive rushes and
shots, and took a staggering six penalties during the game,
constantly playing a man down.
As a result of the loss, Los Phantasmos are now in the unenviable
position of needing to win three straight games in order to
win the championship (two of those would be against the Meatwads).
The big rematch between Los Phantasmos and the Grim Reapers
(who narrowly beat the Hornets to stay alive) will take place
this coming Sunday, and is being billed as “Los Phantasmos
vs. Grim Reapers II: Grill to Grill in Bensenville.”
Tickets are readily available, and game promoter Don King
promises the match will be, “The most historic, important,
incalculably prestigious event on a frozen surface since the
last Ice Age!”
GAME NOTES: The Meatwads out shot Los Phantasmos 37-15; LP
went 0 for 2 on the power play and 4 for 6 on the penalty
kill; Bo “Hammy Be Damned” Coonce made his return
to the ice from the IR and managed to play through a haze
of hallucinations brought upon by a healthy dose of painkillers.
Well, it was either that or the margarita bar he enjoyed before
the game. Hard to say, really.