WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2007
HNA TIER 3 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE PLAYOFFS
LOS PHANTASMOS vs. GRIM REAPERS
Los Phantasmos 7 – Grim Reapers 5
WILMETTE, IL – A heated rivalry got even nastier last
night, as Los Phantasmos rallied back to win an intense battle
7-5 over the Grim Reapers. Both teams dug deep to keep the
game lively and tight, with the lead being passed around more
times than online pictures of Britney’s bald spot.
The first period belonged to the Grim Reapers, who scored
early to take a 1-0 lead off a juicy rebound in front of the
crease. Los Phantasmos couldn’t find a rhythm to their
game, and saw numerous shots gobbled up by the quick glove
of the ‘Reapers netminder.
To add insult to injury, the ‘Reapers managed to add
another goal with seven seconds left in the first period.
In the second period, Los Phantasmos began to claw their way
back into the match.
Former team scoring champ, turned Lidstrom-like defenseman,
Jeremy “Thru the Wickets” Campbell worked the
puck into the ‘Reapers zone and fed it to Keith “The
Smiling Slumlord” Hales down low. Hales drew a defender
or three, then slipped the puck across the crease to Randy
“Peaches that are DDT Free Since 2003” Cochran,
who announced his return to the team by burying the biscuit
in the back of the net.
Cochran scored again shortly thereafter while on the power
play, with defensive wunderkind Scott “Booya”
Battle picking up the assist. While the reaction from the
bench was pronounced jubilation over tying the score, more
than one player was overheard asking for a DNA test to prove
this really was Cochran, and not some impostor crafted from
spare hockey parts and chicken wings.
The ‘Reapers got back in the game by taking advantage
of a Los Phantasmos positioning miscue. The ‘Reapers
right defenseman took control of a poor Phantasmos clearing
attempt at the blue line, then rifled a pass cross-ice towards
the far side of the goal. The puck was deflected, but right
to one of the ‘Reapers wingers, who was sitting alone
by the side of the net and buried the shot past none-too-pleased
goalie, AJ “WhoWhatWhereWhyHow?” Brandt.
Los Phantasmos rallied back however, when opportunistic winger
Dan “It’s Like Falling Off a Zamboni” Phillips
converted a beautiful feed from Sean “Spoon” Tang,
who had set up shop in Gretzky’s office behind the net.
Tensions ran even higher in the third period, as the lead
continued to swing back and forth between the two teams.
Twice, when the ‘Reapers scored and took the lead, Craig
“Mr. Excitement” Sonnenschein scored highlight-worthy
goals to even things back out.
Of course, the liveliest moment of the evening was provided
courtesy of star defenseman and alternate captain, Jay “Don’t
Poop On My Foot” Smith. Smith scrapped away with a ‘Reaper
down low, and was called for roughing. While skating to the
penalty box, Smith couldn’t resist getting one more
jab in on the mouthy ‘Reaper, and picked up another
two minute minor for his handiwork.
The piece de la resistance, however, came when Smith, in his
delirium, made his way into the wrong penalty box. The ‘Reapers
bench erupted in noise, and several players violated league
rules by entering the box and trying to physically extricate
Smith from it. The referees, in no mood for confusion, aggravation,
or general tomfoolery, gave Smith a game misconduct and tossed
him back to the dressing room.
Hales moved from wing to defense to cover for Smith’s
departure, and Phillips suffered the indignity of serving
Smith’s double minor.
Luckily for Los Phantasmos, Phillips had been taking mental
notes from the penalty box and used the ‘Reapers ingenious
strategy against them.
Shortly after rejoining the action, Tang and Sonnenschein
moved the puck to Phillips who rifled a shot from the side
of the net and put Los Phantasmos in the lead heading into
the final minute of the game.
The ‘Reapers attempted one last offensive onslaught
to even the score and force overtime, but Los Phantasmos managed
to get the puck to Ross “I’ve Never Gone So Long
in a Recap Without Being Mentioned Before” Gerbasi,
who hit the empty net to seal the victory.
Up next for Los Phantasmos is a huge game against the number
one seed Meatwads this Sunday night.
GAME NOTES: Los Phantasmos out shot the Grim Reapers 40-24,
including a 17-5 third period; LP went 1 for 4 on the power
play and 2 for 3 on the penalty kill; Gerbasi’s empty
net goal was the only point for the normally potent (and prolific)
“Guitar” line of Gerbasi, Josh “Harumph”
Tallo, and Greg “Good Grief” Rolnick, further
proving Tedd “The Great Prognosticator” Vanadilok’s
pre-season boast of the team’s outstanding depth at
every position. Booya, indeed.