SUNDAY, JANUARY 28, 2007
HNA TIER 3 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
LOS PHANTASMOS vs. MEATWADS
Los Phantasmos 7 – Meatwads 2
ADDISON, IL – After suffering a frustrating Meatwads
beatdown earlier in the season, Los Phantasmos regrouped for
the rematch in the frigid confines of the Addison icebox.
With Greg “Look, Dad! No Slapshot!” Rolnick’s
father in attendance for the first time ever, the team didn’t
just want revenge, they wanted it to look good. And it did.
Los Phantasmos were relentless in their attack, scoring seven
times to the Meatwads pair. The forwards actually backchecked
as well as forechecked, the defense cleared the crease, the
neutral zone didn’t become a Bermuda Triangle of lost
puck possession, and AJ “Tonight I Am a Vegan”
Brandt stood tall between the pipes.
While Craig “Perpetual Motion” Sonnenschein and
Josh “TSA VIP” Tallo each lit the lamp, Ross “Mr.
Punctual” Gerbasi and Sean “Mr. Midterms”
Tang took care of the other five. Assists came from Scott
“Beaker” Battle, Jay “Monorail” Smith,
Jeremy “Feelin’ cagey behind my half-shield”
Campbell, Tedd “Peace n’ Love” Vanadilok,
Randy “Thou shall stop calling me Peaches” Cochran,
Sonnenschein, Tang and Gerbasi.*
Tang netted his first Phantasmos career hat trick, even managing
to score his final tally shorthanded. Even more remarkable,
he only spent two minutes in the penalty box, after trying
to bear hug a Meatwad while backchecking. In his defense,
the guy was quite huggable (or so Tang claims).
The game can be summed up thusly in haiku form:
Play, Los Phantasmos
Chew up and spit out the meat
The win was well done
*Try as his teammates might to set him up, “Near Miss”
Rolnick couldn’t crack the scoreboard and impress his
old man with his offensive prowess.
GAME NOTES: Los Phantasmos went 0 for 5 on the PP and 4 for
5 on the PK; The victory over the Meatwads gave Los Phantasmos
17 points on the season, to the Meatwads 16, thus vaulting
them into first place in the standings; Both Tang (3-1) and
Gerbasi (2-2) racked up 4 points each; For those Phantasmos
phans who’ve long been asking, “How does Peaches
Cochran stay in such outstanding shape?” Your question
has finally been answered. Phantasmos Press will be releasing
Cochran’s new cookbook, “The Peaches Diet: Surviving
on 4400 Calories a Day” this Spring! Take a peek inside
Peaches’ cupboard and find out how to mix and match
the food you have to create fantastic meals. Of special note:
Peaches’ infamous, “Smoked Turkey Bacon, Dr. Pepper,
Cheddar Cheese & JuJu Bees Surprise!” That’ll
kick start your system! (or end it)