greg rolnick
writer • promoter • hockey player


SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2005
HNA TIER 5 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
PHANTOMS vs. EAGLES

Phantoms 2 -- Eagles 1 (OT)

WILMETTE, IL – While it’s true that the majority of players enjoy being on the giving end of an on-ice blowout from time to time, the games they savor the most are the tight contests, decided by one goal and full of defensive brilliance.

Over the past season or two, the Phantoms have never been able to solve the enigma that is the Eagles. Sure, they’ve squeaked out a tie here or there, but they’ve never been able to earn a win. Until now.

In a game where neither team could establish any sort of upper hand, the Phantoms did manage to outshoot the Eagles, limiting the opposition to only one shot on goal during the first period. Consequently, the action was hot and heavy in the neutral zone, with momentum shifts occurring as often as repeats of The Real World on MTV.

The second period saw more offensive pressure from the Phantoms, as they outshot the Eagles 13-7. Randy “Stop Calling Me Peaches” Cochran won several faceoffs in the Eagles’ zone, feeding right wing, Greg “Missed It By That Much” Rolnick, who repeatedly launched quick wrist shots two inches to the left of the net (which were acoustically augmented by the sounds of groans from the Phantoms bench). When Rolnick finally managed to get a wicked wrister on net, it was unfortunately turned away by the quick glove of the Eagles’ netminder.

On the other side of the rink, AJ “You Shall Not Pass” Brandt made one spectacular save after another, frustrating the Eagles forwards to no end. In addition, the Phantoms defense was stellar, controlling the action in their end, and shutting down repeated Eagles attempts to score.

The “Battle Axe” line of Scott “Motormouth” Battle and Ron “Droppin’ The” Axe, not only contained the Eagles’ best players, but also joined the offensive rush on numerous occasions, creating scoring chances and wreaking havoc all along the way.

The other defensive pair of Jay “I Bleed Yellow & Gold, And No, It’s Not A Medical Condition, Thank You” Smith and Tedd “Drop The Gloves? Don’t Mind If I Do” Vanadilok moved the puck out of the zone and up to waiting forwards as if playing a live version of Sega Hockey ’94 (but resisting the urge to make opponent’s heads bleed, since blood is really hard to wash out of a uniform, after all).

Halfway through the third period it became obvious to everyone involved that whoever scored first was most likely going to win the game.

In the final minute, one of the Eagles’ forwards utilized some fancy stick work to slip past the Phantoms defense and launch a rocket of a shot flat along the ice, which just managed to squeeze in between Brandt’s outstretched skate and the far post. Shocked, but unbowed, the Phantoms used their timeout with 36 seconds remaining on the clock to regroup and organize their plan of attack.

With Brandt pulled for the extra attacker, Battle, Vanadilok, Cochran, Rolnick, John “I Make This Look Easy” Cullis, and Mike “Captain, My Captain” Boyd lined up for the second most important faceoff of the game.

Cullis won the draw and the puck was quickly moved into the Eagles’ zone. Rolnick chased the biscuit into the corner and was immediately besieged by a mountain-sized defenseman who attempted to win the puck by seeing if he could put Rolnick through the boards in order to get him out of the way. Incredibly, in a game where only one penalty had been called thus far, the Eagles were rung up for crosschecking, giving the Phantoms a six-on-four situation with only 17 seconds remaining on the clock.

After the Eagles used their only timeout, the Phantoms lined up for what was unquestionably the most important faceoff of the game.

As Cochran won the draw back to Rolnick, Boyd and Cullis crashed the crease, screening the goalie. Before Rolnick could get a shot off, an Eagle leveled him, but while lying prone on the ice, he managed to push the puck forward to Cochran who dropped it back to Battle at the point. Battle then slid the puck over to Vanadilok, who was able to keep it from crossing the blue line before launching a shot on net. The puck bounced off of the goalie and out front, setting off a furious scrum as the clock continued to wind down. Boyd and Cullis whacked away, and somehow, in a bit of hockey magic, just as the goalie tried to smother the puck, Cullis roofed it into the net. Time on the clock: three seconds.

After the initial pandemonium died down, the teams prepared for overtime.

In overtime, the starting forward line consisted of Cullis at center, James “Rings” Abella on the left wing, and Bo “Of” Coonce on the right.

The action moved from the Eagles zone to the Phantoms, and back again. Ignoring Rolnick’s pleas for a shift change, Coonce barreled down the wing after Cullis with a curious gleam in his eye.

Cullis took the puck behind the net, avoided an oncoming defenseman, and slid it out into the crease where Coonce slammed it home for the win. Chaos ensued.

Phantoms players swarmed onto the ice and surrounded Coonce, pounding his helmet as if he had just hit the winning walk-off homerun in game seven of the World Series (to mix sports metaphors). As Rolnick wrapped Coonce up in a bear hug, he was overheard screaming, “Thank you for ignoring me!”

“Anytime,” Coonce replied, with a knowing smirk.

Off to a stellar start, the Phantoms are 2-0-1, and looking forward to next week’s match against the Taz Devils.

GAME NOTES: Vanadilok and Cullis both recorded 2 points; while the statistician did not record the shot totals for the third period or overtime, the Phantoms outshout the Eagles by an almost two-to-one margin; Abella’s band “Jimmy James and the Uptown Eight” will be playing the Koslowski/Jennings wedding next Saturday in Joliet (open bar).


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