greg rolnick
writer • promoter • hockey player


SUNDAY, APRIL 23, 2006
HNA TIER 5 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE PLAYOFFS
PHANTOMS vs. FIREBLADES

Phantoms 1 – Fireblades 2 (SO)

BENSENVILLE, IL – Last season, the Phantoms and the Fireblades met in the championship game, and the Phantoms were blanked 2-0. With elimination on the line for both teams, and the memory of last year’s matchup fresh in everyone’s mind, the stage was set for an epic on-ice battle. While it might not have been exactly “epic,” the game was anything but boring.

The first period was a constant battle in the neutral zone, as each team denied the attack and forced turnovers and waged prolonged battles along the boards.

About halfway through the second period, the Phantoms jumped ahead due to a beautiful tic-tac-toe play. Speedy winger, James “Open Bar” Abella cruised down the boards and into the Fireblades zone. Pulling a move he learned from repeated viewings of Top Gun, Abella slammed on the brakes and watched the defender “fly right by.”

Abella quickly fired the puck across to Bo “Make Each Shift” Coonce in the slot, who hesitated for a split-second before sliding the biscuit to David “He Ain’t Fakin’, He’s” Deacon, who sat all alone by the side of the net. Deacon one-timed the puck in before the goalie could react, and the Phantoms bench erupted in jubilation, celebration, and dreams of post-game inebriation.

The Phantoms defense of Ron “The Mad Accountant” Axe, Scott “Marcel Marceau” Battle, and Dan “3-Wood” Phillips, were joined on the blueline by Randy “It’s The Third Freakin’ Round Of The Playoffs, And You’re Still Calling Me Peaches” Cochran. Cochran adjusted quickly to his defensive duties, and all four worked as a solid unit, denying the Fireblades at every turn.

Of course, it was the stellar work of the man between the pipes, AJ “The Brick Hit-House” Brandt, who kept the Fireblades off of the scoreboard. Brandt made a number of spectacular saves, and the rest of the team fed off of his intensity and drive.

The Phantoms had a golden opportunity to pull ahead by another goal in the third period. Left wing, V “Is For Vendetta” Tongwarin worked the puck out of the corner and over to John “The Leveling Litigator” Cullis in the slot. Cullis faked the shot and instead passed the biscuit to the opposite slot, where Greg “The Southern Dandy” Rolnick unleashed a wicked slap shot that was heading for the top shelf of the net.

In an instant, everything started to move in slow motion, and Rolnick gazed in horror as the sprawling goalie’s glove came out of nowhere to snag the puck just before it could cross the goal mouth. Every player on the ice, Phantom and Fireblade alike, stood for a long moment in silence, gaping in amazement and incredulity at the play. Finally, Rolnick broke the quiet with a mournful wail of, “ARE YOU [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] ME?!?!?!?”

With only two minutes left to go in the game and the score still 1-0, the Phantoms tried valiantly to kill off the clock and keep the puck out of their own zone. However, the Fireblades were not to be denied.

As the clock ticked down to 1:51 remaining, the Fireblades took control of the puck in the bottom corner of the Phantoms zone, parallel to the net. In an attempt to get the puck in front of the net, the Fireblades winger threw a pass towards the crease. Brandt was screened by a number of players and couldn’t see the puck, which ricocheted off of a skate and in between his leg and the near post.

The game ended in a 1-1 tie, and after five minutes of overtime play, the score remained unchanged. Following HNA playoff protocol, the game then went to a shootout.

While Battle, Coonce and Cochran were denied, Cullis and Rolnick scored. The Fireblades scored two as well, and the shootout then went into a sudden death format. After the Fireblades made their sixth attempt, it all came down to one shot.

The Phantoms elected to send Cullis back in, and although he made a nice move, the goalie was able to get a piece of the puck and make the save. And with that, the Phantoms season came to an end.

It was a hard fought game, and while the Fireblades now move on to play the Mutiny, the Phantoms are left to gear up for the abbreviated summer season.

Stay tuned to the Chicago Phantoms website for this year’s season ending awards and updates on the summer campaign…

GAME NOTES: The Phantoms and Fireblades both had 19 shots through overtime; The Phantoms PP went 0-4, but the PK killed off both Phantom penalties; Over the last two seasons, matches between the Phantoms and Fireblades have never been decided by more than two goals; Check your local listings this summer as ESPN 8 the Ocho airs a behind the scenes Phantoms documentary, “Phantastic! The Phantoms & Their Phans,” shot at the numerous team charity events over the course of the season. The Phantoms Charities are proud to have raised an impressive $208.37 for the “Keep Jeff Blake In Chicago Fund.” The KJBCF is aimed at raising enough cash to sufficiently bribe Blake’s boss into eliminating Blake’s travel schedule in 2007. The phone lines are still open, so donate today!

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