SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2006
HNA TIER 5 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
PHANTOMS vs. EAGLES
Phantoms 3 -- Eagles 4
WILMETTE, IL – Although the Phantoms could not overtake
the second place Eagles in the standings, a win would still
have gained important ground. Alas, in what has become standard
protocol for contests between these two teams this season, the
Phantoms and Eagles fought valiantly, with the victory sealed
by a single goal, and the outcome in question until the final
buzzer.
The first two games between these warring factions were both
2-1 affairs, and goals were generally not scored until the final
period. This evening, however, the Eagles got on the board within
the first few minutes of the match, in an attempt to set a different
tone and throw the Phantoms off of their game.
The goal occurred when one of the Eagles forwards took the puck
behind the Phantoms net, and somehow drew both defenders in
towards him. As Russ “New Kid In Town” Thirsk and
Jay “Tequila Sunrise” Smith charged in, the crafty
Eagle slid a quick pass to one of his unguarded forwards in
the slot, who one-timed it past the Phantoms’ agitated
goalie, AJ “After The Thrill Is Gone” Brandt. While
Thirsk and Smith played a verbal game of, “I thought you
were covering the crease,” the rest of the Phantoms tried
to focus on evening the score.
Unfortunately, the Eagles struck again in the first period,
scoring a fluky goal, but one that put them up by two, nonetheless.
After digging the puck out of the corner, one of the Eagles
fired a pass across the crease, hoping to create a rebound for
one of his teammates. Unfortunately, the puck ricocheted off
of the skate of bewildered Phantoms defenseman, Scott “I
Can’t Tell You Why” Battle and into the net.
The Phantoms did manage to create a number of offensive opportunities
in the first period, but were derailed by the stellar play of
the Eagles netminder, and groping hands of the Eagles incredibly
touchy-feely defense.
Determined not to fall behind any further, the Phantoms rallied
back in the second period, behind the hot stick of John “One
Of These Nights” Cullis, who was inspired by the presence
of his better half in the stands. Rumors swirled during the
opening skate around that Cullis was threatened with some sort
of new sleeping arrangement involving a cot in the garage if
he failed to put up any points.
The Phantoms got their offense moving again with a beautiful
tic-tac-toe play in the early part of the second period. Thirsk
brought the puck into the Eagles’ zone and went charging
down low. Consequently, resurgent Phantoms forward, David “Desperado”
Deacon dropped back to cover the point. Thirsk took a shot that
was blocked, and the puck ended up sliding back to Deacon up
high. Deacon immediately slipped a short feed over to Smith
at the opposite point, who then uncorked his patented 50-50
slap shot. Cullis, mucking it up in the crease, got a hold of
the rebound and slammed it home.
As Brandt and the Phantoms defense (featuring the return of
Mike “Lyin’ Eyes” Steinert, who finally bribed
his way out of the claws of U.S. Customs after a lively attempt
to cross back into the country from Canada) continued to stifle
the Eagles attack, the Phantoms offense struck again.
Wily forward, V “Life In The Fast Lane” Tongwarin
took control of the puck near his own blue line, and fed a pretty
pass to Cullis, who then broke away from the pack and into the
Eagles zone. After turning the lone defender into a human pretzel
with some tricky stick work, Cullis beat the goalie to tie the
game at two.
A mental mistake, however, allowed the Eagles to pull ahead.
With the puck in the enemy’s end of the rink, Phantoms
captain, Mike “Heartache Tonight” Boyd attempted
to make a pass all the way across the zone. Before you could
say, “Uh-oh, I think he unintentionally telegraphed that
one worse than Western Union,” one of the Eagles picked
off the pass and went charging up ice, pursued by the skittering
sound of Phantoms skates carving out the mournful wail of desperation
in the ice.
Unfortunately (an adverb that came to mind a number of times
during this game), an Eagles point shot, that curved like it
came off the illegal stick of Ilya Kovalchuk, went through traffic
and deflected off of Brandt’s blocker and inside the near
post, thus allowing the Eagles to retake the lead.
The Phantoms got angry in the third period, and tried to match
the Eagles’ physical intensity, in addition to pouring
on extra scoring chances.
Terrified by the thought of sleeping in the garage next to the
recycling bins, Cullis struck again, taking advantage of a rare
Eagles defensive miscue.
The Phantoms woeful power play redeemed itself a bit, as the
puck was worked from behind the net to Cullis, who hovered down
low near the post. While the normally overly-frisky Eagles defensemen
opted not to accost Cullis, he casually skated the puck in front
of the crease, froze the goalie, then went top shelf to tie
the game at three and record the very first hat trick of his
hockey career (that didn’t involve pixels or the word
“Xbox”).
After a relatively quiet game, Phantoms winger, Greg “Take
It Easy” Rolnick drew a penalty in the third period when
he allowed one of the Eagles mountain-sized defensemen to use
him as a tackling dummy.
Thrown backwards off of the puck, Rolnick flew into the air
and landed headfirst. Sprawled out on the ice, staring up at
the lights, Rolnick counted the ceiling tiles, convinced himself
that the little birds he saw flying around weren’t real,
and decided to lay prone for an extra minute or two and hope
for some sympathy from the referees. While the quasi-ruse worked,
and the Phantoms went on the power play, Rolnick’s helmet
had been cracked at the bolts, and had been skillfully resized
from “snug,” to “Watch, I can spin it all
the way around my head!”
Unfortunately (see, there it is again), the Eagles made the
most of the Phantoms man advantage, and grabbed a loose puck
for a breakaway. While Steinert tried his best to convince the
offensive attacker to stop and make snow eagles at the top of
the circles, the enemy ignored him and opted to slip the puck
in under Brandt’s left pad for the go-ahead goal.
The Phantoms pulled Brandt with around a minute to go, and even
managed to draw another penalty in the final seconds for a six
on four advantage, but to no avail. The game ended with the
Eagles netminder making a spectacular glove save on a desperation
shot, and the Phantoms skated off of the ice, shaking their
heads.
With a playoff spot still very much in their grasp, the Phantoms
will regroup for their game against the Taz Devils this Sunday
night in Wilmettte.
GAME NOTES: The Phantoms did manage to outshoot the Eagles 29-26;
The highlight of the game was undoubtedly Cullis’ hat
trick, which follows Battle’s hat trick in the previous
game; While the Phantoms slowly healing power play did manage
to put up another point, the usually strong penalty kill gave
up one as well; Phantoms center, and sometime defenseman, Tedd
“Peaceful, Easy Feeling” Vanadilok was in the news
the other day when he went hunting with U.S. Vice President,
Dick Cheney. Vanadilok managed to return from the hunt unharmed,
although the VP apparently took a few pop shots at him, each
time apologizing and explaining that he thought he was a “Commie,
liberal pheasant.” |