SUNDAY, JANUARY 22, 2006
HNA TIER 5 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
PHANTOMS vs. BLACK BEARS
Phantoms 3 -- Black Bears 5
BENSENVILLE, IL – When the Phantoms graduated from HNA
beginner school way back in January of 2004, their first real
game was against the Black Bears. The young Phantoms were drubbed
6-2, taking solace in the fact that they even put points on
the board against a more experienced team.
On Sunday night, the Phantoms once again played a more experienced
Black Bears team, who reside in the league tier above theirs.
However, while the Phantoms may not have bested the opposition,
they definitely gained a lot more respect this time around.
The game did not start off very well for the good guys. The
Black Bears won the opening faceoff and immediately charged
into the Phantoms’ zone. Two quick passes and some nifty
footwork later, and one of the Black Bears was on the doorstep.
Before you could blink and mutter, “Are you kidding me?”
the Black Bears had beaten AJ “Don’t I Get A Five
Minute Grace Period?” Brandt to score the first goal of
the game. In addition to their hooting and hollering, the Black
Bears’ body language showed that they had little respect
for the Phantoms, and were expecting this kind of scoring ease
to last all game.
The Black Bears dominated the first period, and out shot the
Phantoms 6-1, adding another goal before the buzzer. While the
Phantoms began to dictate some of the action on the ice, they
spent the majority of the period chasing players around and
trying to organize even the semblance of an offensive rush.
A spirited pep talk in between periods got the Phantoms riled
up, and they knew that if they wanted to be taken seriously,
they would have to come out swinging (and not in the Canadian
adult club or Louis Prima big band kind of way).
Early in the second period, Greg “I Write The Recaps That
Make The Whole World Sing” Rolnick picked off a clearing
attempt in the Black Bears’ zone, and swung wide towards
the far circle. Doing his best Marian Hossa impersonation, Rolnick
used one hand on the stick to guide the puck, while using his
other as a deterrent to keep the defenseman at bay.
Rolnick slid behind the net, double backed, and then slipped
a quick pass out front to Phantoms captain, Mike “Demerol
Feels Good” Boyd, who was alone in front of the crease.
Boyd froze the goalie with a fake shot attempt, and then beat
him with a wrister into the top of the net.
After the ensuing faceoff, the Phantoms again attacked the Black
Bears’ zone. With several Phantoms clogging up the crease
and the slot, the puck went back to the point. Defenseman, Jay
“The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round” Smith
launched a blistering slap shot that appeared to change direction
three times before ending up in the back of the net to tie the
game at two.
The Black Bears scored once more to take a 3-2 lead going into
the final frame, but the Phantoms matched their offensive output,
with both teams recording six shots apiece for the period, and
creating numerous scoring opportunities.
The Phantoms trio of centers, Tedd “Penalty Box”
Vanadilok, V “Tongs” Tongwarin, and John “Mr.
Punctuality” Cullis did a great job of shadowing the Black
Bears’ top scorers and quarterbacking breakouts. In addition,
Tongwarin led the bench in a few humorous rounds of his now
infamous, “Who’s on the first line?” routine.
Dan “Bend It Like Beckham” Phillips tied the game
at three in the third, on a ridiculous shot from the corner.
Arcing the puck in a hockey version of soccer’s “banana
kick,” Phillips scored while standing roughly fifteen
feet to the left of the net, parallel to the post. The goal
was made possible by a nifty pass from resurgent winger, David
“Just Tryin’ To Earn My Check” Deacon, who
is averaging a point a game in his return to the team.
The Phantoms tried to pour it on and take the lead, out shooting
the Black Bears 7-6 in the third. Unfortunately, while trying
to take the lead, the underdogs made a few defensive mistakes.
When defenseman Scott “The Great Orator” Battle
zoomed into the offensive zone, puck stuck to his blade like
James Abella at the all-you-can-eat Vegas crab legs bar, Rolnick
dropped back to cover the point. Not used to playing defense,
Rolnick had a momentary lapse of judgment and moved in when
he should have moved back, thus opening a lane for a Black Bears
breakaway. Brandt made a valiant effort, but was beaten by some
clever puck trickery, and the Phantoms were again down by one.
The Black Bears scored one more goal in the third, and the underdog
Phantom team fell by a final score of 5-3.
The one marring incident for the game came at the final buzzer,
when one of the Black Bears apparently sent a teammate after
hulking Phantoms defenseman, Russ “What We Have Here Is
A Failure To Communicate” Thirsk. Thirsk did an admirable
job of restraining his desire to put the pesky player through
the end boards, and instead questioned the logic and testicular
fortitude of sending someone else to file your own grievances.
Is this the beginning of a new rivalry for the Phantoms? Time
will tell. The one thing the team takes away from this game,
besides a loss, is the knowledge that they can truly compete
with higher-level teams. Now if they can only start dominating
their own division…
GAME NOTES: The first goal of the game was the fastest the Phantoms
have given up in their two year history; The Phantoms penalty
kill unit dropped the ball again, going 2 for 3, and the power
play unit did not fare any better, unable to score even during
a four minute man-advantage; The Phantoms Charity Autographed
Jersey Raffle to benefit over-privileged, suburban youth raised
a disappointing $13, as the Alex Mendez limited-edition sweater
was the only one to sell; Calling all gear heads! Next Wednesday
night, join the Phantoms’ own, Ron “Socket Wrench”
Axe as he leads his internationally acclaimed “Do-It-Yourself
Zamboni Repair” seminar at McCormick Place in downtown
Chicago. Mr. Axe will teach you and your friends how to retrofit
your Zamboni with all kinds of upgrades, and demonstrate his
incredible ability to disassemble, and then reassemble, a Zamboni
in less than 15 minutes! Tickets are going fast, so buy yours
now! |