greg rolnick
writer • promoter • hockey player


FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2005 • HNA TIER 5 FALL/WINTER LEAGUE
PHANTOMS vs. BLAST

Phantoms 5 -- Blast 2

WILMETTE, IL – Welcome back, sports fans, to another exciting season of Chicago Phantoms hockey! The team is back at full strength, with a roster of 17, and they’ve never been hungrier to win an HNA championship. After all, nothing motivates a team to win more than watching someone else do it on the same sheet of ice, as the Phantoms learned last spring versus the Fireblades.

Game one of the new season pitted the Phantoms versus the infamous Blast. Last season, the Blast and Phantoms brought new meaning to the word “combat” in their numerous contests, where the penalty minutes often outnumbered the final score.

While the roster may be full, the team was without a number of players for the opening game. However, by moving Dan “Happy Gilmore” Phillips up from defense to right wing, the Phantoms were able to field two full lines.

From the moment the puck was dropped to the final buzzer, the Phantoms attacked the Blast and kept them under constant pressure.

The newest Phantom, Russell “Unquenchable” Thirsk, officially made the roster when he took control of the puck deep in the Phantoms’ zone, made his way up ice, weaving through Blast players like pylons, and got the Blast goalie moving side to side. With a quick flick of the wrist, Thirsk went top shelf and put the Phantoms on the board first.

It wasn’t until the second period that the Phantoms struck again. Forwards, V “Is For Victory” Tongwarin and Greg “Call Me Ishmael” Rolnick moved the puck into the Blast’s zone and fired a shot on net. While the goalie made the initial save, he failed to contain the rebound. This led to a furious scrum in front of the net. With the hockey gods smiling down upon him, Rolnick saw the puck move out towards his stick blade and he managed to corral the puck, and launch it over the goalie’s shoulder.

With Phantoms center, Tedd “And He Felt Much Shame” Vanadilok in the box for tripping, the Blast put themselves on the board. After netminder, AJ “Big Papi On Ice”Brandt deflected a shot, the rebound unfortunately bounced around and ended up on the wrong stick blade, and then shortly after, in the back of the net.

Not content to sit back and defend a lead, the Phantoms assailed the Blast relentlessly in the third period.

Tongwarin slipped a puck past the Blast’s goalie just inside the post on his glove side, then minutes later, made a beautiful long distance pass from deep in the Phantoms’ zone to John “Billable Hours” Cullis near the red line. As Cullis and Rolnick streaked in on a two on one, Cullis turned the defenseman inside out before wristing the puck into the back of the net.

Vanadilok made up for his previous penalty (and unintentionally running the Blast’s goalie into the net) with a mind-bending piece of puck trickery. Standing parallel to the goalpost, Vanadilok managed to wedge the puck in between the goalie’s pad and the post to put the Phantoms up 5-1.

A defensive miscommunication caused a Blast goal with three minutes to go, as Brandt attempted to clear the puck from the crease, but was intercepted. However, the game’s most harrowing moment came with mere seconds left on the clock.

The Subway Sandwich of the game goes to Rolnick, who was absolutely leveled from the front and behind by two Blast players while trying to retain control of the puck at the Blast blue line. Lying prone on the ice, post-bone-crushing, Rolnick quickly popped his helmet off, shot a reassuring look to his concerned spouse in the stands, and then mumbled something to the ref about being “Batman.”

After Rolnick shuffled off of the ice, hulking defenseman, and concerned Canuck, Thirsk avenged him on the ensuing faceoff. Once the puck was dropped, Thirsk charged in and upended the Blast player who had hit Rolnick from the front, just as the final buzzer sounded.

Satisfied with their first win of the new season, the Phantoms look forward to their rematch with the Fireblades next week.

GAME NOTES: The Phantoms out shot the Blast 34-24; Tongwarin racked up four points on the evening; Captain Mike “Ruptured Disk” Boyd played through severe back pain, finding solace by crushing Blast players along the boards; the Phantoms defense did an excellent job of shutting down a potent Blast offensive attack (special mention to Ron “Fear The” Axe for staying out of the box, while still sending a message of “stay the %$#! out of my crease,” and Jay “Sin City” Smith, for attempting to break an opponent’s stick with a modified tomahawk chop, and thus spending two minutes in the box—to be noted, Smith is working on taking over for Vanadilok as the team goon, but still has a ways to go); Defenseman Scott Battle will be signing copies of his new book, “The Silence Is Deafening” next Tuesday night at 7:30pm at Borders on State Street in downtown Chicago.

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