greg rolnick
writer • promoter • hockey player


SUNDAY, MAY 16, 2004 • HNA BEGINNER LEAGUE
PHANTOMS vs. ICEMEN

Phantoms 4 – Icemen 2

ADDISON, IL – With his four days of playoff beard growth, Greg “Grizzly Adams I Ain’t” Rolnick, resembled more of a bohemian college freshman than a superstitious hockey player with dreams of the Cup. But being playoff time, Rolnick and the rest of the Phantoms scratched at their scruffy game faces and put their faith once again in the power of team talisman Gino Cavallini.

From the opening faceoff, the Phantoms controlled the tempo of the game, keeping the action deep in the Icemen’s zone. Sticking to their game plan, they continually dumped the puck in and used their speed to beat the Icemen to the corners, where they fought valiantly to dig the puck out and create scoring chances. Although Rolnick and his linemates were held scoreless, they had several solid chances.

It was another Phantom right wing who got things rolling this time around, as Dave Deacon popped a rebound under the Icemen’s sprawled out goalie for a 1-0 lead.

The second period began with Rolnick gliding to the faceoff circle, only to be reacquainted with his favorite referee, who just happens to have a thing for one Mary-Jo “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful” Rolnick. After assuring the smitten zebra that M-J was indeed at the game, Rolnick hoped this was some sort of awkward sign of good things to come. Besides, making nice with the referees is always a solid game plan.

The game progressed much as it had in the first period, with the Phantoms dictating the action on the ice, but finding goals hard to come by. Deacon struck again off of a faceoff in the Icemen’s end, when the puck bounced out to him at the top of the circle and he deked right, around an Icemen defenseman, and launched a wrist shot top shelf for the score.

15 minutes away from a shot at the championship, the Phantoms knew that the third period would prove to be an eventful one.

In the opening minutes of the final period, the Icemen set up camp in the Phantoms’ zone. As the puck kept barely missing the net, Phantoms defensemen started throwing their bodies across the crease like Bobby Orr after scoring the Cup winning goal. Tido Tongwarin ended up in the front corner of the net, his hand on top of the puck, which caused chaos to erupt all around him. One of the referees held her arms above her head in an “X,” while the Icemen began screaming bloody murder. Thinking they had a penalty of some kind coming, the Icemen berated the referee for her incompetence. At this point, the enraged ref bellowed at the nearest Icemen, “Learn the signs! Do you know what this means? Before you get up in my face, you’d better make sure you know what the hell this means!”

As it turned out, the referee saw Tongwarin’s transgression, and had called a penalty shot. When the Icemen were informed of the situation, they sheepishly backed off, as the Phantoms snickered from their bench.

But the snickering was short lived, as it was now time for AJ “This Is Not What I Had In Mind” Brandt to face the Icemen’s best shooter one-on-one. Both benches began banging their sticks against the boards cheering on their guy. Although Brandt was an intimidating presence in net, the crafty Icemen managed to slip one past, and get his team within one.

The Phantoms extended their lead again when left wing, Paul Schultz, scored after a scrum in front of the Icemen’s net. Although the Icemen claimed that the puck never crossed the line, the referees did not agree.

The Icemen came roaring back and scored again to close the gap to one goal, but Dave Deacon smashed their hopes by scoring once more for his first hat trick. As he came back to the bench, he was greeted with chants of “Gi-no! Gi-no! Gi-no!”

When the final buzzer sounded, the Phantoms came out on top, and now get their shot at the Cobras and the HNA Beginner League Championship.

Championship Game: Wednesday, May 19 @ 10:10pm in Addison vs. the Cobras

GAME NOTES: Staying on the referee’s good side (no matter how creepy), helped the Phantoms as they had one penalty to the Icemen’s six…Rolnick was held scoreless for only the third time this season … Victoria “Oh No You Didn’t” Brandt was restrained in the stands during the first period, when she threatened to “explain the truth behind Santa Claus” to a five-year-old Icemen cheerleader who called her husband a “big doody head.”

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