THURSDAY, MAY 6, 2004 • HNA BEGINNER
LEAGUE
PHANTOMS vs. ICEMEN
Icemen 1 – Phantoms 0
ADDISON, IL – The air in the arena was charged with a
scent of desire last night, as the Phantoms looked to bounce
back from a disappointing loss and the Icemen tried to ride
their surprising winning streak for one more week. Yes, there
was a smell in the air that hinted towards the battle to come.
Luckily, it smelled nothing like the overpowering olfactory
funk that permeated the Phantoms dressing room, which apparently
had not been cleaned or disinfected since Friends went
on the air ten years ago.
The game started off well enough, as both teams battled back
and forth without a clear advantage being drawn. But as the
match progressed, the Phantoms began showing signs of regression
instead of improvement. Passes were blindly thrown across the
ice and poor positioning allowed the Icemen to exploit defensive
blunders that would make even Rumsfeld blush. Making matters
worse, the Phantoms also failed to capitalize on a powerplay
opportunity, barely registering a shot in two minutes.
Even with the lousy play being displayed for all to see, the
most perplexing moment of the night came right before the opening
faceoff of the second period.
As Greg “Could I be any more upset?” Rolnick
took his place at the outside of the faceoff circle, the referee
sidled up to him and asked if his wife had come to the game.
“Um, no, she’s gotta get up early tomorrow,”
Rolnick replied. The referee then proceeded to ask what it was
that she did for work. So Rolnick awkwardly explained that she
was a news producer for a travel Web site. “Which one?”
the referee inquired. At this point Rolnick was feeling a bit
uncomfortable about the ref holding up the start of the second
period because of his apparent fascination with one Mary-Jo
“Your wife is hot” Rolnick. Thankfully, before things
could get any worse, the referee noticed that all of the players
were waiting for him to get things underway and he finally dropped
the puck.
With the score knotted at zero, the Phantoms tried to get something
going in the second period. Rolnick knocked a clearing attempt
out of the air with his stick and began to break across the
Icemen’s blue line, going on one on with their goalie.
However, just as he got ready to shoot, the whistle was blown
and offsides was called on one of the Phantoms’ forwards.
And this was how it went all night: just when an opportunity
was created, it was denied by some sort of miscue or hockey
faux pas.
A few shifts later, one of the Icemen’s defensemen took
control of the puck in his own end and went zipping down the
ice, blowing past Phantoms right and left. It looked as if AJ
“He was on a break(away)!” Brandt made the save,
but the puck trickled between his pads and into the back of
the net.
No matter how hard they tried, or how many spectacular saves
Brandt made, the Phantoms just couldn’t get their offense
working. With six seconds to go on the clock, and Brandt pulled
for the extra attacker, the Phantoms won a faceoff in the Icemen’s
zone, but instead of getting off a shot, the puck was deflected
by the Icemen out across the blue line.
When the buzzer sounded there was nothing but shock and anger
from the Phantoms bench. Even though a 1-0 defeat was nothing
to sneeze at, the Phantoms knew that they could have played
better – that they should have played better. Besides,
this was the first time that they had been held scoreless all
season, and it stung just as much now as it did back in junior
high.
Next week is the final game of the regular season and a chance
for redemption. Rolnick has vowed not to leave the ice without
registering at least two points, leaving this intrepid reporter
to wonder: if he gets shut out again, you think he’ll
chain himself to the Zamboni?
Next Game: Wednesday, May 12 @ 10:10pm in Addison vs. the Cobras
GAME NOTES: The Phantoms only registered 13 shots for the game,
whereas the last time these two teams met they registered 13
shots in the second period alone…Rolnick is considering
a restraining order on the smitten referee, unless he can throw
a few favorable calls his way…The final game of the season
is “Fan Appreciation Night.” The first 150 fans
will be entered in the “Win A Dinner With AJ” contest.
Brandt has unknowingly been volunteered to make a gourmet dinner
for one lucky fan and 21 of his or her closest friends. |