prof. goldblatt's got appeal

Whaddaya know...it's Week 20!

We're now officially at the halfway point in the pregnancy. Let's all pause to celebrate. Done? Okay then.

Professor Goldblatt now weighs somewhere around 10.5 ounces and is around 6.5 inches long. But what's that in produce, you ask? It's about the length of a banana. Probably a green one, since she's still ripening. Just a thought.

She's also starting to swallow more and more, as her digestive system keeps improving. Speaking of which, she's also producing meconium, which is "a black, sticky by-product of digestion" (according to our sources). If we're lucky, we'll get to see this as wonderful surprise in her first diaper. Can't wait. I tried to argue that little girls don't poop because they're full sugar and spice, not meconium, but Overboard just laughed at me.

prof. goldblatt's a chick

Overboard and I went to the hospital this morning for a very enlightening ultrasound. After getting some in-depth peeks at Prof. Goldblatt's head, heart, face, belly, arms and legs, the nurse asked if we wanted to know just what we're dealing with.

"YES, PLEASE," we replied in unison.

"It's a girl."

So there you have it. Come July we'll have what I've been calling "a complete set." Now Kenny and I need to practice our tough guy personas, and I have to work on my interrogation techniques for when some hapless teenage boy tries to come to the house and take Goldblatt out on a date. To be honest, I think I may actually have some fun with that one.

al cochino

Kenny hablas a lil' Espanol. At daycare, they like to talk to the kids in a mix of English and Spanish. Which is cool. I feel bad that I can't help reinforce any of that at home (damn you, all those years of French!), but it's nice to know he's working on his foreign language skills. Besides, let's be honest here, it's probably a lot more helpful these days to speaky the Spanish than impress your date at a French restaurant by knowing how to say more than, "Le stylo est sur la table." But I digress.

At daycare, when Mr. K's underpants are wet or dirty, they refer to it as being, "Cochino." This means, "filthy or disgusting." At home, Overboard likes to throw that around, mainly because the reaction she gets is pretty amusing.

"Kenny? Are your underpants dry and clean? Or are you cochino?"
"No cochino. No!"
"Cochino? Un paquito?"
"NO CACHINO! NOOOOOOO!"*

I'm totally waiting for that moment when he goes all Ricky Ricardo and just starts rattling off angry Spanish at us.

Oh, my little, Babalu.


*Quite often, unfortunately, the answer is actually, "Si, cochino," but he hates to fess up to it. Ay caramba.

mr. bossy

Kenny isn't very shy about asserting himself these days.

First thing in the morning? "Want milk and toys."

With the dog? "No, Sadie! Sit. Get into bed."

During potty breaks? "No potty! Want to hold Thomas/Percy/Lightning McQueen!"

In the car? "No, Mommy! No singing!"

The last one is my favorite. The other day, Overboard started singing along to the music in the car and Kenny quickly (and loudly) disapproved. Overboard was caught a bit off guard and grew shamefully silent. Then she decided to try and start signing along, but quietly under her breath. I started to laugh and commented that she was totally afraid of being yelled at again by the tiny Simon Cowell in the backseat. Overboard turned red and shook her head in agreement.

It will continue to be a source of amusement for me until the day I hear, "Daddy! No singing."

tomato, toe-mah-toe

Yes, yes, it's [drumroll] Week 19!

Welcome to another weekly "your baby as produce," update. Now that we're rolling into Week 19, Prof. Goldblatt is weighing in the neighborhood of 8.5 ounces and is about 6 inches long. But what is that in produce terms, you ask? A large heirloom tomato. Not one of them tiny 'maters. An heirloom.*

The Professor's hair is starting to sprout and his/her brain has begun designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision and touch. I imagine that sounds something like, "Hey, you. Hearing. You listening to me? Get over there and stay there, thankyouverymuch. Now, would someone please tell Vision to get up and running? I need to make sure Hearing is behaving up in here. Here? Hear? Get it? Hey, when is Humor arriving? Hello? Is this thing on?"

Supposedly, as the aforementioned hearing gets better, Goldblatt will be able to listen to us talk into Overboard's bellybutton microphone. In today's sponsorship age, I wonder if I can get Verizon to cough up some cash for Goldblatt's college fund. In return, we'll make sure to start each in utero conversation with, "Can you hear me now?" The other thing that comes to mind is that the baby hasn't heard a word we've said up to this point. But I consider that practice for later in life, so no worries.

In other Overboard pregnancy news, she's unfortunately dealing with an itchy situation known as PUPPP, which is short for Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. PUPPP sounds cute in its acronym form, but it's not. PUPPP is a condition where pregnant women get itchy red bumps all over.

The condition is harmless to the mother and baby, but it makes them irritable. Which is no fun for anyone around them. The other down side is that we don't know how long it will last. Maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks, maybe the rest of the pregnancy. Wheeeee!


*I admit that I had no idea what the difference between a regular tomato and an heirloom tomato were. I just figured the heirloom one was older and had more sentimental value.

goldblatt's a pepper

Welcome to Week 18.

For those of you who love to compare Goldblatt to various produce, the Professor is now about 5.5 inches long and nearly 7 ounces, or approximately the size of a bell pepper. Green, red, or yellow, I couldn't tell you. Probably depends on the time of day and whatever it is Overboard had for lunch.

The good professor is busy flexing his/her arms and legs, which conjures up images of a tiny little bodybuilder, but maybe that's just me.

Finally, Goldblatt's nether regions are coming together. If the good professor is a girl, then her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place and, if you look closely, there's a tiny little chastity belt to help her Daddy sleep better at night. If Goldblatt is a boy, then his lil' man is growing more noticeable, but he may hide it during our ultrasound on the 24th. Unless he's an exhibitionist, in which case he may be sporting a tiny overcoat and a devilish grin. Just a theory.

no fingers

Kenny has a proclivity for putting his fingers in his mouth these days. Not sure what it's all about, but we try to discourage it. This is done by constantly saying, "No fingers," and often augmented with the patented "pushing of the fingers away from the mouth" technique.

Mr. Man has also discovered his nose and how well fingers can shove into it. This too is met with a "no fingers." On special occasions, when Kenny tries to pull off the impressive "finger up nose and then towards mouth" combo, Overboard employs the battle cry of, "No fingers, ewwwwww!"

There it is, folks. The joy of parenting.

would you do it for two nemo snacks?

Overboard has resorted to bribery in our ongoing attempts to get Kenny 100% potty trained. When he keeps his underwear dry and clean, and does his business on the potty instead, Kenny is rewarded with a "Nemo snack."

Lest ye think we're plying him with gummi Pixar tie-in products, we don't give him the whole bag, just one snack at a time.

The system isn't as effective as we'd hope, but Kenny does look at us each time he gets on the potty (clean or wet) and asks hopefully, "Nemo snack?"

In related "Finding Nemo" news, Kenny loves to quote Crush the Turtle. It's pretty hysterical to hear him intone, in his best surfer-dude voice, "Jellyman...takin' on the Jellies." Or, "Hey, Dude!"

Every time Mr. K bonks his noggin' or does something daredevilish, I love looking at him and announcing, "You have serious thrill issues, Dude."

things that go bump in the night

Kenny has been in his big boy bed for a week or two now, and it's going pretty well. Or it was. So I will preface this story by saying I have no recollection of the events I am about to describe.

Apparently, over the last two nights, Overboard (and myself, so she claims), have been awoken in the middle of the wee hours by the sound of an odd "thump" in Kenny's room. Upon closer inspection, Overboard has discovered a confused toddler no longer in his bed, but rather, sitting (or in the case of last night, standing) on the floor.

Both times, Kenny was helped back into bed, quickly soothed, and all was well. Or so says Overboard. I can't corroborate her story because I don't remember any of it. What can I say? I'm a heavy sleeper and when awoken in the middle of deep slumber, can do things (such as help small children, hold conversations, and perform feats of strength) while remaining 90% unconscious. It's a gift.

I feel terrible that I have slept right through my son unknowingly testing the laws of gravity in the middle of the night. However, I'm curious as to how he's doing this, since we have a bed guard in place and he doesn't seem to be messing with it.

Maybe tonight I'll line the floor around his bed with pillows. Then I can sleep soundly knowing he's okay, instead of just sleeping soundly.

our lil' turnip

If it's Week 17, then Prof. Goldblatt must be a turnip. Or at least the size of one.

Our sources tell us that the Professor's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone and that the umbilical cord is growing thicker and stronger. Or, if you prefer, the Professor is becoming less of a shark and improving the flow of sustenance. He/she can also move her joints with greater ease and is busy developing sweat glands. Given Goldblatt's father's propensity for perspiring profusely, let's assume that the sweat glands are growing thicker and stronger, just like the aforementioned umbilical cord.

Not much else to report on the baby front except that we've scheduled our big ultrasound on the 24th. Assuming the Professor cooperates (and we have ways of making that happen), we'll find out if we're looking at a little brother or sister for Mr. K.

Any predictions?

a day at the museum

Last Sunday there was some sort of big football game going on. Even though the pre-game coverage started around 6:43am or something, the game itself wasn't until that night. So we decided to get out of the house in the morning and go see some dinosaurs at the Field Museum. Now, I don't know if it had anything to do with the game, but turns out that it was a free admission day. Touchdown!

Kenny was very excited to see the dinosaurs and other assorted animals. He loudly announced that he was gonna see some dinosaur fossils, which sounded a lot like he was saying, "dinosour waffles."


"That's a humungus-dungus waffle, Mommy."


Overboard points out one of the many bones Sadie would give her left paw to munch on.


Kenny saw the elephants from across the room and let out a "bradalooooooo" in their honor.


Kenny thought it was cool that Sue the dinosaur had her own pet pterodactyl. He asked for one of his own but we declined. We're not getting a parakeet, no less a pterodactyl.


We had a lot of fun walking through the exhibit with the numerous stuffed animals. Kenny ran from display to display checking out all of the critters. Overboard and I liked this one a lot, since I got to look at her and say, "Platypus, honey. Platypus."


Evenkeel's favorite part of the Field Museum: The Tsavo Lions. These two lions rode roughshod over a group of railway workers who had infringed on their turf. By the time the lions were brought down the final score was: Lions 140 - Railway Workers 2. The movie, "The Ghost and the Darkness" was based on these two.


Kenny is a big fan of any museum that tells him to step into the exhibits. In this case, a dino foot print. Or a really big paperweight. We were divided in opinion on this one.


Kenny also checked out the mini-triceratops for historical accuracy. It passed.


Kenny and Evenkeel debate why or why not a stegosaurus would make a good pet.


Finally, we ventured down to the official kid's area of the museum, where Kenny got to stomp around a dinosaur nest, complete with a hatching dino egg and a mama dinosaur. His parenting skills were pretty good, but hopefully he won't drag Goldblatt around the way he did that mama dino. Oof.

Did we Kenny have fun? Well, he was asleep by the time we left the parking lot. So I'm going with a "yes" here. We had fun too.