tappa kegga milk

Apparently, my son is actually not an infant, he's a college student.

Overboard and I were downstairs trying to watch an episode of "Rescue Me," but Mr. Kenny was being very fussy. We tried the pacifier, holding him in various positions, bribery, and when nothing else seemed to be working, we decided to do a diaper check. Overboard held Kenny up and proffered his little butt towards me, asking if I smelled anything funny "down there." I leaned in, did the quick sniff, and offered up that I didn't smell anything terrible, but maybe she might want to take a sniff herself. Overboard then leaned in, and at that exact moment, Kenny farted in her face. Hysterical with laughter, Overboard almost dropped him (which would have been a clear violation of Rule 1 of Parenting: Don't Drop The Baby). I couldn't believe the timing, but then realized that it was a set-up which had gone awry! The two of them were trying to pull a fast one on "Daddy," but to no avail. So this is what they do all day...

When Kenny still wouldn't stop fussing, and we had stopped laughing, we decided to give him another bottle (even though he had eaten a mere two hours earlier). After downing all four ounces, I propped the little guy up for another round of burping (we take periodic breaks to belch during meals...and by "we," I mean Kenny...Overboard and I just let them rip whenever, but that's a post for another time).

Kenny was facing towards my favorite spot on the downstairs couch as I patted his back. All of the sudden, with a thundering noise, Kenny projectile spit-up a stream of formula and then promptly passed out in my arms. As I stared in awe and fascination at the fresh stain on my couch and the lifeless, snoring spud in my arms, I looked at Overboard and announced, "Check it out, he's an underclassman."

Farting, spewing, and passing out are all in a day's work for the little man, and it just warms my heart to know that in another 18 years or so, he'll start the whole process all over again. Of course, by then I won't have to clean up after him, just foot the bill. Still need to get that smell out of the couch, though....